Please vote in the poll too! Yes, you have to choose.
1. Did you like the amount of pictures compared to the text?
2. Did I go into a sufficient amount of detail, or would you have preferred less?
2. Did I go into a sufficient amount of detail, or would you have preferred less?
3. Did I take the story too fast or too slow?
4. Do you have any final comments encompassing the story as a whole?
If anyone is interested, I'll be uploading the family (Shelby, Ray (her bf), Candace, mom, dad, Jezabelle, and Reese) in householf form sometime today. I'll start a post in my blog Sims of Every Flavor (it's linked with a few of my blogs on the side of my posts).
If anyone is interested, I'll be uploading the family (Shelby, Ray (her bf), Candace, mom, dad, Jezabelle, and Reese) in householf form sometime today. I'll start a post in my blog Sims of Every Flavor (it's linked with a few of my blogs on the side of my posts).
I absolutely LOVED this story. I was always checking for the next chapter, and I love how you updated quite frequently, yet still made it interesting and very well done. The pictures were nice too, good quality. Jezabelle was a good protagonist, she reacted to things how a real person would. She wasn't some stuck-up b**** who was always threatening guys and they're all scared of her (hate that), and she also wasn't too scared. She was strong, and that was one of the best things about her. I'm hoping to see many more stories from you, and keep up the great work! It may get you somewhere good in life, you have the capability to be an author for sure! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm really sad it's over. It was really good while it lasted though. I can't wait for your new story with J&R's kid! It will definitely be awesome. You are an extremely good writer and you portray the characters so well! I wish you were still continuing this, but it's definitely good to stop now and work on the next one. Overall I just can't believe it's over. You did a wonderful job. =)
ReplyDeleteThanks guys, it means a lot :).
ReplyDeleteLOL, I totally love the results for the poll. If I were to vote, I think I'd choose the third one too, but IDK, I wrote it so it would be weird for me to vote. LOL.
Okay so I just read ALL of your chapter's through from start to finish, and it's just OMG I loved it! Nuff said, words can't describe it but your an epic write ^_^
ReplyDelete*writer... stupid typos lol
ReplyDeleteThanks so much LittleSmirk! I can't believe you just read it all...as in in one sitting?!
ReplyDeleteLet's hope you can take constructive criticism.
ReplyDelete1. Did you like the amount of pictures compared to the text? Yes, I did.
2. Did I go into a sufficient amount of detail, or would you have preferred less? I honestly think you went into too much detail. You have a weird, semi-autistic way of writing where you analyze things mid-sentence when the reader is already doing that. But other things you didn't go into enough detail for, Oh- it's perfectly fine to just introduce yourself as someone's kid and they won't bat an eye. (Eyes growing big like 10 times doesn't count) Kind of weird, not at all lifelike. You did, however, write enough about certain plotpoints, like the mysterious building, without going into the over-explaining mode.
3. Did I take the story too fast or too slow? It was decently paced, though I REALLY didn't like the obvious write-ins of things you found interesting in your real life, such as certain t.v. shows, movies, or books. Find real life friends to share your interests with, don't just toss them into your story because you like them. Things in your story should fit in your story, and a lot of random pop culture things seemed out of place.
4. Do you have any final comments encompassing the story as a whole?
I..actually liked the story. The plot of it, at the very least, and I am *not* a Sci Fi person. The writing could use a /lot/ of work, it's certainly grammatically correct but it's a very..uhm..unique style that I wouldn't necessarily say is good. You come off as very know-it-all and pretentious, and I feel like you push that through in your writing.
ALSO, you are *far* too into making things unpredictable. The ending with Reese felt very off, it was more forced just because you wanted to shock your readers. It's OKAY if we are not jaw-dropped every single chapter, so let up a little.
Overall, if I had to rate it, I'd say three stars out of five, because despite the glaring flaws it held my interest.
AND- I liked it a tiny bit enough to actually want to read your newer story, though more for your creative plots and less for your actual writing.
Thank you for the constructive criticsm. Ever since I have written stories for sims, I have never once recieved constructive criticism so I never knew that anything about my stories had problems in it.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean about the detail, I know exactly where you're coming from. I think my problem is that I want it to be more like a normal book in that everthing is thoroughly explained, but full novels usually invovle I don't know-'something' more so it's different. I could do with less detail.
The way I write is what first comes in my mind, and I write that way because of that and I think it makes you connect with the charactor more-I think most sim stories don't give you much of an attachment to main characters. I do take it weirdly sometmes and now that it has been pointed out to me that that is a problem, I will try my best to change that.
The 10 X's eyes growing is of course not what I meant seriously, that was an exageration. I just mentioned that because my eyes get SO huge.
I don't actually necessarily find those things of pop culture something I like, I just added it in because I figured most people know what I'm talking about, and it's a way to relate with my readers because the only thing we all have in common is sims and that's just a little something.
I will try my best to utilize most of your advice and I greatly appreciate your time into writing up your comment, thank you.
Your writing style is very unique to you and there is nothing wrong with that. Previous comments that you sound “pretentious” and “semi-autistic” are just subjective comments. By that I mean, that is a personal opinion of that particular person. I did not agree with them. That doesn’t make either reviewer correct – it just means there are two differing opinions. That is true of all writing. Every writer has their own voice and their own style. What one reader will enjoy, another will fault. I personally cannot stand Hemmingway’s writing style – yet there is no denying the man was a brilliant writer. Your style is your own. Your voice is your own. No one should ever try to change that.
ReplyDeleteAs a story for a Sims game, you have done well. This is supposed to be fun, yes? So, have fun! Write your stories for your own enjoyment. Others will like and dislike them as they will, but that normal – people are opinionated and have differing ideas on what they like. The important thing is that YOU like your Sims story and are satisfied.
:)
I understand where you're coming from, and you're right of course. I understood where the other anonymous was coming from too and I agreed with it too. It is my style of writing that is obviously unique to me, but I want it done without making it confusing, I guess? Or, I don't know, change it so that it's not quite as jumpy. I do have to write for what I love too...
ReplyDeleteI didn't find the story confusing at all personally, the twists and turns didn't bother me. There were like...3 or 4? I liked the unpredictability of it personally and so many sim stories are very predictable.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you have fun writing it though then things should go well. I think the writer should be the biggest fan of his or her story!
I really like it, but I thought it was too detailed, and sometimes I couldn't follow your line of thought very well. My advice for you is to not be afraid of changing a lot of things before you post. You might already do that, but just think about it a bit.
ReplyDelete